


Everything We Had

by lizzicleromance



Series: Gone So Long [4]
Category: My Chemical Romance, frerard - Fandom
Genre: Boyfriends, Destiny, Fate, Frerard, Heartbreak, M/M, MCR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 08:58:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzicleromance/pseuds/lizzicleromance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is Part IV in my string of Frerard one-shots... a continuation of "Miserable at Best".  It takes place after that one ends. It isn't necessary to read the previous one-shots, but it will certainly describe the feelings that Frank and Gerard are feeling a whole lot better and gives much better perspective into the lives of both since the other two one-shots have ended. Two more to come after this, plus another which is in the works as we speak.</p><p>* Inspired by the absolutely amazing song <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YqYA_rbh1Q">Everything We Had</a> by the Academy Is...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything We Had

Gerard walked along the moonlit path of the all-too-familiar park, a cigarette in one hand and an unlabeled bottle of Jack Daniels in the other. It was the night before his engagement party, and he found himself wanting to be nowhere near the woman he was set to marry in only a matter of months. His entire world had seemed to fall apart the second Mikey handed him the little piece of paper that held the fate of Frank's appearance at the party tomorrow.

Once he realized Frank wouldn't be there, a million different emotions ran through him - relief, because Frank wouldn't be there to cause a scene; anger, because Frank was his best friend and wouldn't be there; but most of all... his feelings were hurt. Frank's little black "X" in the blank marked "No" was proving to be far more than Gerard could handle, as this meant that the man he once loved so much would no longer be in his life, for good this time. He really didn't know how to deal with these emotions, so he turned to the only friend he could count on when life became too much for him to handle... good ol' Jack.

As Gerard continued along the moonlit path, he found himself in front of that familiar spot where so many beautiful memories were created. There was that tree, _their_ tree, the one that had their names forever carved into it inside of that gigantic heart. Gerard took a deep breath and stuck the cigarette in his mouth as he walked up to the tree, allowing that newly freed hand to run his fingers over the carved letters of Frank's name. His gaze then fell to the ground, along with a single teardrop as he remembered their first encounter with this tree...

_"So Frank, now that you've drug me out here in the middle of the night, what would you like to do now?" Gerard asked, looking over to the man walking beside him, who randomly bumped into him as they walked along the moonlit path. Gerard was beginning to think he was doing it on purpose, and this thought made him smile rather broadly as the two continued on their little adventure._

_"Um... well I wanted to swing, but the swings are broken..." Frank whined, poking his lower lip out as he once again brushed into Gerard's side. That look made Gerard weak at his knees, and his heart melt into a puddle, as he would literally do anything to make Frank happy._

_"Aww... I'm sorry, Frankie," Gerard consoled him, massaging his shoulders slightly as he hugged him from behind. "Is there anything else you would like to do?"_

_Gerard instantly regretted those words as a look of mischief graced Frank's face, as he replied, "I wanna race!"_

_"Race?" Gerard choked a little on his cigarette, as he dropped the hold he had on his best friend and secret crush. "Frankie, no, please don't make me race you..."_

_"Come on, Gee! Just to that tree!" Frank giggled, as he began to run forward toward the tree in the distance._

_"Frankieee!" Gerard cried, as he had no choice but to take off after him. He felt like his insides were on fire, and thought he was literally about to die. The cigarette in his hand and the constant coughing was proof that he wasn't in the best health to be chasing after someone so full of energy, so full of life - not to mention a few years younger than himself._

_"Frankie! Stop running!" Gerard called after him, panting hard as he wished for nothing more than to stop and take a breath. "If you don't stop, I swear to God that when I catch you I'll-"_

_Frank stopped running and stood perfectly still, a sly grin on his face as Gerard collided right into him, wrapping his arms around the guitarist as he tackled him to the ground. Frank was giggling like crazy, mainly because he had gotten his wish of Gerard being on top of him. It was such an infectious and beautiful tune that between Gerard's heavy breathing, he just had to giggle back as he laid on top of the one he secretly longed for, staring down at the most beautiful face he had ever seen._

_The pale moonlight shined down so brilliantly on Frank, and it was in this moment, as Gerard laid on top of the person that he secretly cared for more than anyone else in the world, that Gerard had experienced the most incredible moment he has ever had in his life. He was thrilled beyond belief that he was able to take in all of Frank's gorgeous splendor from the most amazing view of right on top of him. The actuality of actually staring into the crystal green eyes that he secretly got lost in from afar as he now laid on top of him, was far better than any of the dreams that he'd woken up from of this exact scenario. There simply weren't enough stars in the sky to count how many times he'd had that dream..._

_"You'll what?" Frank asked once his laughter had subsided, staring up at the lead singer from the band they played in as Gerard began to caress the side of his face, making the younger man shiver under his touch._

_Gerard's breathing was still rugged and heavy, and his heart was still beating a little more rapidly than usual, but it wasn't because he had been running; It was because of Frankie, whose presence always made a million little butterflies begin to dance around in Gerard's stomach and made his heart race faster than ever before._

_The skin on Frank's face was even softer than Gerard could have ever imagined. His heart skipped a beat when Frank brought his own hand to land on top of Gerard's, which was still caressing Frank's cheek softly, making him shudder as well._

_"This..." Gerard whispered softly, as he brought his lips down to meet Frank's for the first time. It took all of two seconds for Frank to respond by tilting his head slightly so he could deepen their kiss, moaning into the singer's mouth as the collision of Gerard's lips upon his own proved to be far more amazing than he could have ever imagined._

_Gerard soon broke the kiss, only because he wanted to stare in the guitarist's eyes one more time, and simply grinned down at the man beneath him because now, Frank had left Gerard completely breathless._

Gerard wiped angrily at his tears, which were falling freely from his eyes now. He had foolishly tried to conceal the feelings he still had for Frank, and it was something that had proven to be absolutely useless - especially now. His feelings for Frank were back full force, only this time, they seemed a million times stronger as the seemingly endless amounts of memories of the pair came flooding back to Gerard - their first kiss, the first time they made love, the first time either of them had said 'I love you' and meant it - all of it came rushing back, and then some. Gerard crouched down against the tree, eventually letting himself fall back and curl up against it as his eyes fluttered shut, visions of himself and his perfect ex-boyfriend falling asleep together under this very tree dancing in his head, lulling him into a bittersweet slumber as he clung tightly to the only thing he seemed to have left of him - his memories.

\---

That next morning, Frank's alarm clock began to ring rather obnoxiously from its position on his nightstand. Instead of groaning like he normally would, his eyes shot open, and he smiled. He clutched his gigantic plush Spongebob tightly, the one that he slept with every single night. Frank grinned as he remembered the night Gerard had given this to him. He spent $150 at the carnival one night just to win it for Frank because he wouldn't quit whining until he had it. To be honest, that wasn't the real reason Frank was grinning so big this morning.

Even though that night was of course one of his favorite memories of him and Gerard - they did have sex on the ferris wheel that night, for God's sake - that wasn't the entire reason he was all smiles, nor was it because the sun that came peeking in through the half-open dark blue curtains informed him that it was going to be a beautiful day. Frank was grinning like a madman, because today was the day that he would win Gerard back. He hopped out of bed and headed for the bathroom, so he could have a shower and clean himself up before he put the rest of his plan into action...

Meanwhile, in the park just a few blocks away, Gerard awoke to a familiar beeping of his own, this one in the form of a ring tone. He scrunched his eyes and kept them tightly shut, as his actions of the previous night began to come back and hit him full force. His head was pounding, his ears were ringing, and he felt like he was going to be sick. Gerard knew he deserved this; he was paying dearly for drinking more than half of a bottle of bourbon last night.

On top of all that, his heart immediately began to ache as soon as his eyes adjusted to his surroundings, revealing that he had fallen asleep against the tree that he and his precious Frank had adopted as their own, clutching that bottle of unlabeled Jack just as tightly as he'd clutched Frank that first night they shared their first kiss under this very tree. Gerard sighed deeply, his eyes shutting once more as his phone began to ring again. He wanted nothing more than to throw it as far away as possible, but instead, simply glanced at the caller ID to reveal it was his younger brother that had been calling for him.

"Hey Mikey..."

\---

Frank grinned at himself in the mirror. He really liked the job his good friend had done on his hair. He decided to chop a good bit off the back, but left his fringe rather long so that it could hang in his face whenever he felt the need to hide from the world.

Instead of taking a cab back to his too-swanky-for-his-taste 5th Avenue apartment, Frank decided it would be best to take his favorite shortcut through the park. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and lit one up, enjoying as his second favorite addiction began to fill his lungs and fulfill only one of the things that Frank was currently craving at the moment.

He smirked, realizing that after the party tonight, he could quite possibly have Gerard back, if things went according to plan, of course. That plan involved Frank simply showing up. He wasn't being cocky; he knew that Gerard had to be hanging on by a thread when it came to his feelings for him, he was sure the first part of his plan took care of that. Frank figured that once Gerard saw that he had showed up after all, he wouldn't be able to hold it together. And the best part? He would lose control not only in front of his friends and family, but in front of his fiancee. Although it seemed vindictive and a bit childish, Frank knew this was the best way to make Gerard come crawling back to him.

He was convinced that by showing up tonight, there was no way the love of his life would be able to keep living the lie that he was currently living, because not only did he have every single one of Gerard's weaknesses well-documented, Frank knew that he was right at the top of that list, with Gerard's best friend Jack and the Marlboro Man coming in second and third place. By simply showing up at the party despite Gerard, Frank knew his ex-lover would be in his most vulnerable condition and would be forced to succumb to his need and want for Frank, like he had played out in his dreams each and every night since that day he handed Mikey that card that held his appearance at the party's fate.

Frank's smug grin quickly faltered as he stumbled along that familiar pathway, his heart suddenly skipping a beat as he edged closer and closer toward that tree, _their_ tree. He actually hadn't been back since the last time he had been here with Gerard... the last time he actually remembered feeling completely alive.

_"Come on, Frankie... why won't you tell me what's been bothering you?"_

_Gerard had been trying for the past twenty minutes to get Frank to open up and tell him all about the troubled feeling that had been building within his heart and gut, only to be shut down each time he attempted to get him to open up. He laid out the blanket that he and Frank brought with them each and every time they had a special meeting under their special tree, and sat himself down against it. "Come on baby, join me."_

_He stuck his hand out for Frank to take, and reluctantly he gave in, tucking himself securely in between Gerard's legs. Frank immediately felt a million times better, all of his previous nervousness drifting away, leaving him only with a swollen heart and a stomach full of butterflies, the good kind that he always felt when he was with the one he loved the most._

_Frank leaned back into his lover's embrace, his fingers running up and down Gerard's arms that held him tightly in place. "I'm just nervous about going back on tour," Frank whispered, almost afraid that Gerard had actually heard him._

_Gerard captured the hand that was currently tracing random hearts all over his arm, his breathing erratic as he shifted beneath the one he too loved the most, so he could stare straight into his lover's eyes._

_"Oh Frank," he whimpered, proving right then and there that his Frank was indeed his greatest weakness, immediately breaking down in tears at just the thought of the pair not being together proved to be too much for the lead singer to handle as he threw his arms around his boyfriend, the two quickly getting lost in each other like they always did. "Don't you ever think like that, okay? I love you so much Frankie, please... don't you _ever_ worry about anything like that again, okay?"_

_"I'm sorry Gee," Frank apologized, as he softly kissed Gerard's neck, which it turn made the singer moan out quietly. "It's just, these past few months that we've been together, it has been the most amazing time of my life. I've had you all to myself, I'm a little afraid to share you with the rest of the world.."_

_"Oh sweetheart," Gerard said, placing a total of twenty-three kisses all along Frank's face, earning that sweet giggle he loved so much as a response. He would do anything and everything to hear it, even if it meant watching Frank's favorite cartoons with him, or watching the scariest movies that Gerard sort of hated with him, because for some reason, they made Frank giggle harder than the cartoons did. Gerard smiled at this as he muttered "I love you" for the million and tenth time that day, and simply rubbed his thumb across his boyfriend's cheek, whose eyes in turn immediately shut because the feeling was far too amazing, it made him shiver. Frank needed to capture this perfect moment between him and his beloved forever, taking a deep breath as he dared to open his eyes again, for fear of the glue that held him together somehow drifted away or something._

_But when Frank's brilliant green eyes slowly opened once more, they were met with the crystal hazel gems that he found himself getting lost in each and every time they locked together, and it was then that he realized that Gerard had never taken his eyes off of him once. He had a glimmer in his eye, as he situated himself so that he was facing the one he loved more than anything and everything in the world._

_"Frankie baby, I have something I want to give you," Gerard said shyly, rummaging around the pocket of his jacket for something. He pulled out a small box that had a ribbon laced prettily around it. He opened the box and smiled, revealing two very shiny silver rings. Frank's heart felt like it had literally stopped beating, as he eyed his beloved intently, his eyes glistening in tears as Gerard carefully scanned over each one. He then found which ring belonged to who, as he took Frank's hand in his._

_"It's too soon for a proposal just yet," Gerard started, kissing his boyfriend's cheek ever-so-gently. "But I do love you Frank, and I can promise you that much. And as long as you wear this ring, this ring is a promise. A promise for today, for tomorrow, for ten years from now, that I'm yours - and I always will be. As long as you wear this ring, promise me you'll remember tonight, this moment, and how much I love you more than anything else in the world."_

_As much as it killed Frank to interrupt his boyfriend's words that made his heart flutter like none other, he needed to show him just how much this meant to him. He had no words, only actions, as he pounced on top of Gerard and kissed him deeply with everything he had, knocking him down onto the soft padding of the blanket. "Whoa Frankie, calm down," Gerard said, giggling as Frank helped lift him back up into a sitting position. "It's just a silly ring, it's nothing spectacular-"_

_Frank interrupted the love of his life the only way he knew how, by placing his hands on either side of his face, and crashing his lips once more to their favorite place in the world. Gerard's breathing slowly turned into low moans and whimpers as he relaxed into his boyfriend's embrace. He opened his eyes and stared at Frank dreamily, the two boys seemingly drunk off of each other's kisses, lost in none other than their own perfect little world._

_"Here sugar," Gerard said, taking Frank's hand in his as he kissed each one of Frank's fingers, before placing it upon his left ring finger. He then kissed Frank's right hand, which was resting securely in his own. This gesture made Frank tremble as well, which told Gerard that he was indeed Frank's greatest weakness as well._

_"Gerard, you have no idea how much this means to me," Frank said, eyeing the new silver band that rested perfectly around his finger. "I will wear this, every single day for the rest of my life. It is the second greatest thing you have given me, I can't tell you how much I love this ring.."_

_"I know I said it was nothing special, but the _second_ greatest thing I've ever given you?" Gerard asked, eyeing his boyfriend rather curiously. Frank immediately blushed, realizing he had no choice but to admit what his true feelings were, no matter how silly they seemed in his head._

_"Yeah, the second greatest," Frank replied, grinning shyly up at Gerard, who held his full attention. "You gave me a chance, Gerard. That one chance was the only thing I have ever wished for, and you gave me that the first time I dragged you out to this park all those months ago. Do you remember, Gee?"_

_Gerard felt his eyes welling up with tears at the sincerity of his boyfriend's words. "Oh my Frankie, how could I forget?"_

_He closed his eyes as Frank cradled his cheeks with his hands yet again, clutching onto them with his own, and savored the feeling of his Frank's lips as they kissed both of Gerard's eyelids and every single one of his tears away. Frank's very skillful fingers landed in his lover's hair as he placed soft, lingering kisses all down Gerard's cheeks, finally landing at his chin, then right up to his lips, where he proceeded to kiss him so desperately, so passionately, with every single drop of his heart and soul. Gerard trembled, the feelings he felt for Frank were so overwhelming, so special, so perfect._

_Frank mumbled "I love you" once more as he finally relaxed in the sanctuary of his boyfriend's arms, sighing peacefully. Gerard lifted Frank's chin just slightly, their lips crashing together almost instantly, also informing the other that above everything else, they were each other's greatest strength._

Frank was on his fourth cigarette by that point, tears streaming down his face as he sat up against that tree, clinging to the last, bittersweet memories that he and Gerard shared here only a few months ago. He was so wrapped up in his blanket of memories, clutching the ring that Gerard had given him under this very tree the last time they were both here together, that he completely failed to see the bottle of Jack that was left there by the tree's earlier visitor. He only noticed it when he shifted his weight slightly and bumped into it with his elbow, dropping the ring because the bottle's intrusion actually startled him from his very deep thoughts.

Frank eyed the bottle carefully, one hand edging closer to it so he could pick it up, eyeing the missing pieces of the label. Picking the labels off of bottles was always something Gerard would do; was this his? Had he been here? _Why_ had he been here?

Through his tears, he caught a glimpse of the silver ring that he had dropped, the one that Gerard had placed so tenderly around his finger that one magical night many, _many_ moons ago. He picked it up quickly, his heart literally skipping a beat when he realized he almost lost that magnificant gift that Gerard had given him. He toyed with it in his fingers, for the first time actually taking a good look at it now that it wasn't on his finger. It really was just a plain silver band, but to Frank, it was more priceless than the shinest ring that contained the most expensive diamonds on it.

As Frank grinned down at his ring, he slowly but surely hoisted himself up off the ground. Even though he definitely intended on showing up fashionably late, he figured he better get a move on if he intended to make that party after all.

As he wandered back towards his apartment, Frank was still fiddling with his ring. For some reason, he found himself running his fingers against the back of it, his eyebrows furrowing together as he noticed something he had obviously never seen nor felt before. He instantly studied the underside of the ring, his legs becoming weak and his heart falling deep into the pit of his stomach.

Frank felt like an idiot for never noticing it before, but there it was, clear as day. Inscribed inside of his ring, the one he wore every single day just like he promised Gerard, was a promise. A promise, just like Gerard promised Frank as long as he wore that ring, he would be his. A promise: so beautiful, so simple, yet so perfect.

_Gee & Frankie, forever_

Frank clutched that ring so tightly to his chest, before slipping it back on the safety of his finger. He felt really dumb for never noticing the inscription before, but then again, Gerard had never mentioned it, so he really had no way of knowing those gorgeous words were inscribed so beautifully in that cursive writing, because he'd never taken it off long enough to ever notice such a thing. But now, it was all he could think of, haunting him, comforting him.

With the ghost of Gerard following closely behind him, Frank realized he was never meant to see this until now, until he was ready. No matter how many times he had tried to give himself a reason for not going to Gerard's engagement party tonight, this ring, was all the inspiration he needed to go through with his plans for the evening.

The inscription inside was a promise, made by the man that had broken Frank's heart, that everything they had still held a tiny ray of hope for the future.


End file.
